I got 99 problems...

And a bitch is one.

Girl trouble is awesome. I mean, it's just the most complex thing in the world to deal with. It's not like physics, biochem, car wrecks, or programming a VCR. There is no set of rules to follow, and there is no single solution. It's just a cluster fuck; plain and simple.

So here's my latest girl problem. I've been dating this girl off and on for about a month and a half or so. So yay for that, everything was normal and cool at that point. I really like her, I think she really likes me, etc. I honestly think she's the perfect girl for me right now. It's so rare for me to meet a girl that is pretty, smart, out-going, and fun. And she speaks French (albeit Quebecois French) which is a plus. Most girls I meet have a few of those traits, but rarely all of them.

Anyway, about a week ago I went over to her place, and we were sitting around watching TV and drinking a little bit. Long story short, we end up making out for a while at the end of the night. We had kissed eachother good night, and I went home happier than I've been in a while. But of course, I'm not constantly angry for no reason, and sure enough my elation would be short-lived.

She sends me a message the next day saying something to the extent of, "Oh my god, I feel like I'm a complete whore. I had promised my ex I'd get back with him a week ago, and now that I've cheated on him I feel so crappy. I'd totally understand if you never want to talk to me again, like ohmygersh!" The first thing I thought to myself was, "WTF, promised you'd get back together? Who does that anyway? Either get back together or don't." But whatever. The next thing I decided upon, after a bunch of deliberation, was that I wasn't going to just give up on her, despite what a lot of my friends advised.

So first, some background information on her ex. He's a short little amateur kickboxer loser. I could beat this guy in a fight, and I haven't practiced Krav Maga for a while. Secondly, he's apparently really stupid, and failed out of school. Third, he's just a violent, horrible excuse for a man. He makes her feel like crap whenever he can, and will viciously attack her verbally, and break her down. He's also broken into her home, punched a hole in her wall, and broken down her door and hit her before. And if that's not enough, he's cheated on her constantly with at least 6 other women, one of which was a 31 y/o married woman. Oh, and did I mention that she has been dating this guy off and on for about 4 years? Needless to say all her friends hate him, probably because he's threatened them with violence before, and her family despises him, and they're always trying to get her to leave him, but when she does, it's usually short-lived.

So I talked to her a few days later, and it was the most awkward thing ever. She said she just ended up getting back with him because his life sucks right now; his best friends died in a car wreck, he lost his job, etc. Basically, God, if he exists, decided to take a huge dump on this guy. His best friends all died in a large car wreck, he lost his job and his other applications were all denied, he got his ass handed to him in a bunch of attempted pro kickboxing matches, and is all-around depressed apparently. Personally, I think if God does exist, He should have added penile cancer to the list of things to give the guy, but what do I know. She then went on to say that she felt so sorry for him and that he was being nice to her, so she decided to promise him that because she felt so bad. So now, I know what every rational person is thinking; "HEY, HE'S JUST MANIPULATING YOU LIKE HE ALWAYS HAS FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS!!!", but we all know girls usually aren't rational.

So then when I told her that this was pretty much just karma catching up with him, she started looking at the floor and started saying she knew, and then was saying that it's just "virgin baggage" or something (he took her virginity). She did say that she'd rather go out with me (well then, why don't you just do that?!?!) but she felt obligated towards this idiot for now. She told me to stick around for 3 weeks or so, because she said they'd probably be broken up by then. Now, I know she means well, but me waiting around like a benchwarmer for the starters to get tired is just ridiculous, and almost insulting. After talking for a bit longer, I decided it would be best just to leave her house, since she had to get up early the next morning, and it was already late. As I left the house, she leaned over to kiss me, but then stopped herself and said, "I really want to do something else, but for now I'll just have to high-five you." So that just added to the awkwardness of the whole situation.

So pretty much at this point I've decided to go after her a little bit more, and just basically tell her to choose between that guy and me. It's almost like dealing with a cult member; I can tell she really likes me, and this whole situation really bothers her, but at the same time, he has such strong control over her she refuses to leave him. Let's see if I can facilitate a break-up or not.